15 years ago today …let’s back up a day or 2… On Saturday, December 13th, 2003 My Mommy S, (Now known as Nanny O) said “Let’s go dance that baby out of you” and brought me to her work Christmas party. I wasn’t due for 3 & 1/2 more weeks, so, hell no, this baby isn’t coming yet! We went to the party and danced and danced and danced the night away. I had so much fun…which is something I hadn’t really had in a while; so I really needed it. Looking back, I think Mommy knew I needed it and that is why she brought me. I won’t get into the details, but it was a tough pregnancy. I don’t recall exactly what time we got back to her house, but I am sure it was near or after midnight. After such a fun filled night I fell asleep quite quickly…until around 4 am when I awoke with an odd sensation in my tummy. It wasn’t quite painful, more of an annoyance and I went back to sleep, waking up over and over with this weird feeling in my tummy…I was slightly concerned, but not enough to panic or even mention it. The sensation got more prominent and more regular as the morning went on. Around 11 am, I started to think “holy shit, are these contractions!!” I didn’t want anyone to panic, so I quietly started to time them and rate the pain level, which was still quite bearable probably around a 3/10. I did this for the next couple hours. The “sensations” were 7-8 minutes apart and they were increasing from discomfort to mild pain. I secretly called my friend Ang, whom I lived with at the time. I explained to her the timing and the discomfort level and asked if they could be contractions (Ang has 2 children and works in a hospital, I figured she would know more than this first time mom). She figured I was in labour and suggested I go to the hospital. I told mommy. She brought me over to Ang’s, and while the 2 of them were mildly panicking, I was cool as a cucumber and wanted to shower first. They thought I was crazy, I am sure. The next 48 hours I remember bits and pieces, so bear with me…They finally got me to the hospital in the late afternoon/early evening, I do not remember the exact time, but they got me there. I am pretty sure they were both with me… I think. So a few hours at the hospital and the doctor’s confirmed that I was in fact in Labor, but not enough to stay at the hospital. They sent me home with instructions to come back when the contractions are under 5 minutes, my water breaks or the pain gets much worse. So back to Ang’s we went, the drive home was a little sketchy, it had started to snow. Mommy went home because she had to work in the morning, but said to call her if we need her and that she would check in in the morning. What a horrible fricking night! The pain was getting worse by the minute and slowly closer together. I cried a couple time through the night … I was terrified and in pain. The morning finally came, Monday, December 15th, 2003, mommy showed up and said she is taking me to the hospital before she goes to work because the snow from the night before has gotten worse and it is now a blizzard, expected to last all day and only get worse. So I packed my bag and off we went. Thank god. The pain was becoming close to unbearable. We got me checked in and mommy went off to work, I can’t remember if Ang went to work that day or not…I feel like she did, but I don’t remember her not being with me. I am going to pretend she didn’t, because everything I remember has her there for it. I should mention that I have never been big on drugs, legal nor illegal, so when they offered me Demerol, I said not yet until I couldn’t bear the pain any longer. Here’s the thing… NO toxins in me, I didn’t drink, smoke, do drugs or even take pain medication so… when I finally gave into the Demerol, it hit me hard! I mean really hard. I was so high, it wasn’t even funny. At one point, I had some long and elaborate dream, I “woke up” and told Ang about it…she laughed because I wasn’t sleeping… I blinked. It was a long blink that lasted a second or 2, but it was a blink non the less. but this dream I had took me 10 minutes to tell… So weird. A doctor came in to check on me and saw how high I was and asked the nurse how much she gave me…he thought they may have over-dosed me. apparently they gave me the correct amount, I was just sensitive to it I guess. LOL. The anesthesiologist came in to have me sign papers in order to get the epidural (waivers I assume…I don’t recall), he was so concerned with my mental state that he asked Ang to co-sign, confirming that I actually did want the epidural. HAHAHA. My water still had not broke on its own, so at one point while the doctor was examining me, he said “let’s shake things up a bit” and GOOSH! He broke my water. When the anesthesiologist finally came in to give me the epidural, I was in so much pain, even the Demerol wasn’t keeping it at bay. as he was trying to insert that giant fucking needle into my back, I was crying and muttering “I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this” He stopped what he was doing and asked what I don’t want (I assume for legal reasons, if I decide not to have the epidural he must stop immediately). I groaned out “have a baby”, he chuckled and said “little late for that”. I honestly meant that I didn’t want the epidural but I know I needed it, so I lied. lol. Keep in mind that I both hate and am terrified of needles, so this giant on being shoved into my back really fucking sucked. My contractions were really close and extremely painful now. He finished inserting the needle, gave me a shot of the epidural medicine and didn’t have time to secure it, he took it out, I laid down and the birthing began! I got that epidural just in fucking time!! I don’t have a clue how long it took before the baby was completely, but it seemed pretty quick … being high as fuck and all. Then it happened, they announced that I had a baby girl… A girl!?? I know the ultrasound said girl and the doctor said girl … But that is a boy!!! I was convinced that I had a boy and the doctors and nurses were all lying to me!! I was not impressed …still pretty high, but not impressed!! When they gave the baby to me, I had to check for myself…Yeah, she was a girl (Fucking Demerol). A beautiful, angelic, perfect baby girl. My heart melted and filled with so much love, I thought it was going to explode. The warmth and joy overwhelmed me. I never really knew love until this very moment. This perfect moment. My life would now change forever …for the better. My precious Bambino. I have never been more thankful, more happy and more in love than I was in that moment. Now Ang, please go get me a timmies!! 

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY MY BAMBINO!!!