This year not so much. I woke up Christmas morning in excruciating pain (the same pain I have been suffering for months…years?). I sucked it up went downstairs and waited for Kev and Kal to get up and open their gifts. I laid on the couch dozing off a little but the pain in my gut kept waking me up and keeping me awake. I laid there waiting hoping that their excited faces would provide a little bit of relief from the pain and depression. Eventually they did come downstairs and we opened our gifts. We all got spoiled as usual, even though we planned to go easy this year … We didn’t. I am not going to get into all the details of all the presents but … I got my Vitamix!!! Finally, I’ve only been asking for it for years. LOL BTW, It really does make perfect soups and smoothies!!!  It’s sad really because after opening my presents I was suffering so much with the pain in my gut and the depression bringing me down that to an outside person I probably seemed like an ungrateful bitch. I wasn’t at all, I love all my gifts and I am so thankful for all of them but I was in just too much pain to care on Christmas morning. I managed to stick it out for a little bit, but could not bear any more. Water bottle in hand, I slowly dragged my ass up the stairs and into our bedroom where the bathroom is close, a bucket even closer and the Advil and Tylenol within arm’s reach. I crawled onto the bed curled up into a little ball, cried a little, closed my eyes and fell in and out of consciousness. My gut was in agonizing pain, I had a fever of 102 F and the toilet was my best friend and my worst enemy. We were supposed to go to the In-laws for Christmas dinner but there was no way I was leaving this house in my current state. I called Kev and Kal to tell them that basically my Christmas was done and I was physically unable to go to dinner. I told them they should go because there’s no point in everyone having a crappy Christmas, I’m just going to be laying in bed. It was a little bit of an argument, with my agony and fragile state  I lost that fight. Kal outright refused to have Christmas without mommy even if mommy was stuck in bed all day and Kev was not leaving me alone as sick as I was. I spent the next two days fighting this illness which I thought was my C difficile returning. The thought of having to fight this infection for a third time brought on an episode of  extreme depression that lasted 3 days. I could not stop crying, I was in pain, I was much too familiar with the toilet and the exhaustion was unbearable.

Then Friday came. I was messaging my sister L in SPEDmonton (there is a story behind the “SPED” part of that that I am not going to get into but basically it’s short for special education…in a derogatory way. I loathe that city. Every time I go there I have issues and problems, I have panic and anxiety attacks, and I couldn’t put a smile on my face if Jon Bon Jovi jumped out in front of me and told me he wanted to marry me … yes I hate it that much. IMHO (that means In My Humble Opinion ..in case you didn’t know) that city is full of morons, imbeciles, and retards … hence SPEDmonton…yes, I know it is a horrible term, I use it anyway along with many others, if you don’t like it then stop reading and leave. This is MY blog not yours… Buh Bye)… moving on… hang on back up a little bit … a little history L & I we’re plotting and planning trying to make it so that L, her hubby and their son, Den would come here for the holidays. I even went out of my way to buy lots of presents for them just to make sure that Den had a good Christmas. I am not going to get into all the gory details (okay they’re not that gory but I’m just not going to go there) but the plan fell through and they were unable to come for an undisclosed period of time … okay now I am moving on … so I was talking to L Friday morning and she informed me that she has not had a good day since Christmas. Well I hopped right into big sister mode. After a fairly short conversation I hopped into my car, picked up Kally (She had a sleepover at a friends) and headed out on the road for that 3 ish hour long drive to that hell hole, also known as SPEDmonton, to pick up my sister and her son, Den. When we finally arrived we visited quickly to say hello and goodbye to her hubby and we’re back on the road heading home, house-guests included. We made it there and back despite a whole shitload of crazy ass drivers including one idiot who was riding my ass so close he couldn’t have been more than 2 – 3 feet away while we were doing 120 km/h beside a fucking transport truck!! Dick.

I kept those poor unfortunate souls for a full week…Ha ha suckers. We visited my in-laws, we went (window) shopping, we went “GoodWilling”, we binge watched whatever we could, we laughed, we cried (well I did, it was sad when Spider-man disintegrated!), we sang (loudly and very off key I might add), we played, we had a great week but my favourite was Auntie and Nephew/niece day! L and Kal went out for breakfast and a movie but Den and I left the house at 10 am and did not return until sometime between 8:30 and 9 pm. We had a blast of a day; eventful and entertaining. Our exciting day started with breakfast at Denny’s! Den ordered up some chocolate chip pancakes and I grabbed some eggs benny hold the english muffin. We were so stuffed that Den did not even want dessert…well not a full dessert, he wanted something small. Well Auntie Nawna is someone who knows just the thing! Off we went to a Candy store!!! This store is most obviously going out of business with their half empty shelves and stale junior mints, but Den did not care nor notice…so neither did I (well I noticed, but I didn’t care as long as he was happy) We must have circled through that store a half dozen times looking at and talking about every candy before he finally decided on some candy lego blocks type things. He loved them, he made stuffs and then he gobbled them up. From the candy store we headed to a games and toy store … WOO HOO!! At least on hour of hour day was gobbled up here I am sure. We gazed at all the toys and games while Den told me all about the ones he has and the ones he wants. I couldn’t even begin to tell you about that list, well I could tell you that involved some Pokemon, some Beyblades, some Spider-Man, and some Minecraft but that is all I can tell ya. When he was done admiring all the stuffs I told him he could pick a toy (with a price limit), he picked out a beyblade and I grabbed some spidey toys (that he “claimed” 2 of) and we were on our way to the main feature …

Spider-Man!!! Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse!!! We hit up the movie theatre with just enough time to buy popcorn and snacks and get our butts seated (thank goodness for those pre-booked recliner seats!). We were both so excited! Spidey might be both of our favourite superhero and I heard great things about this movie! I mean really, Multiple Spider-Mans (and Womans) from various alternate dimensions collaborating to take down that evil King pin and ultimately saving the entire universe(s)! YES PLEASE! And let me tell you, it did NOT disappoint! (FYI…It is a Marvel movie, so stay til the end, you won’t regret it!)  We both loved it intensely! Guess what I am buying when it comes out on Blu-Ray…….. Bohemian Rhapsody!!! LOL Tricked ya! Of course I meant Spider-Man! (But I am getting Bohemian Rhapsody too…that was a fantastic movie!)  I was originally going to bring Den downtown to Devonian Gardens (An indoor garden/park including a playground and fountain pond) after the movie but I asked him if he wanted to watch another movie, Bumblebee started in 45 minutes and there were decent seats left. He was waaay too excited to watch 2 movies in a row (I think this may have been his first double feature). So we bought our tickets and headed over to the cinema arcade to play some games while we waited. That little turkey whooped my ass in air hockey twice in a row! OK I may have let him win…When I started to take the lead he started to look sad and I was having none of that today! but I did keep the score pretty much tied to keep the excitement and intensity high right until the bitter end when I would move my goalie way to far out to stop anything from going in … sshhh… I don’t normally let them (kids) win everything, but we were having an amazing day and I wanted him to enjoy it fully and completely … next time, it is on! He carried on with a bout at Guitar Hero, Basket ball and some other game I forget what it was. We both opted out of snacks for the second movie so we headed in to watch Bumblebee empty handed. OMG What a wonderful movie! How could anyone not love a movie with a lovable giant alien robot that can transform into and itty bitty bug and also save the world. I want to hug him, bring him home and keep him. Bee might be the cutest hunk of metal in the universe! Well when Bumblebee ended, it was too late for the Devonian Gardens (Next visit) and we were starving. Ribs being Den’s favourite meal made me opt for Montanas. One of Den’s favourite places apparently! Score point for Auntie Nawna! We drew on the table, played tic tac toe, laughed at our silliness and acted like complete fools. As you can see in the picture we were having such a good time, I couldn’t even take a decent picture… I was laughing too hard. HA! We both ordered Ribs and ate until we couldn’t eat anymore and then we had ice-cream!! After our fun filled day it was almost time to go home. We had one last minute stop. The grocery store. Why the hell would you take the kid to a grocery store on a day of fun? Well because I promised him chocolate chip pancakes in the morning and I had no chocolate chips. Also so my little buddy could pick out some ice-cream to bring home!!

The week tired out everyone …. But I think we all enjoyed it. It left me physically, mentally and financially drained, and I would do it again in a heartbeat without a second thought. No regrets.

Someone loves you and someone is here for you, whether you realize it or not. Your story is not over; continue life. Canadian Crisis Line 1-833-456-4566. You are never alone. Children’s help phone 1-800-668-6868. I love you.

Family. Happy. Love.